Declining Invitation

Most invitations are given to attend a program or to be a guest speaker. When declining an invitation, generally we try to provide a response that says more than I can`t or I don’t want to. Compliments may help buffer the impact of request refusals. Unless the reason is confidential or a business secret, always try to explain your reason. Responses to invitations are often taken personally, so make special effort to soften your refusal. The tone of this refusal should be warm, upbeat, and positive.

Refusing Internal Requests

Internal request refusals focus on explanations and praises, maintaining a positive tone, and offering alternatives. Just as managers refuse requests from outsiders, they must occasionally refuse requests from employees. Refusing internal request can be done through a memo. Quickie memos are “tell it like it is” based which can be hurtful, have possible danger areas, and don’t provide feedback. An improved version of the memo starts with a buffer that delivers honest praise. Give many compliments as they don’t cost you anything. The buffer should also include the date of the meeting, used in accordance to connect the reasons that follow. Success of this message depends on attention to the entire writing process, not just on the usage of a buffer or scattering a few compliments throughout.

Saying No to Requests from Outsiders

Most requests for contribution are from charities. Many big and small companies receive requests for contributions of money, time, equipment, and support. Many of the cases are worthy, but resources are usually limited.  When refusing request from charities using the indirect pattern, the letter begins with a buffer acknowledging the request. Also, it praises the good work of the charity, which transitions in to the second paragraph. In the second paragraph, explain why you cannot contribute, without actually stating the reason for refusal. The emphasis should be on the foundations good deeds opposed to an explanation for refusal.  If required to write frequent refusals, prepare a form letter, changing variables as needed.

Refusing Requests for favours, Money, Information, and Action

Many of us would prefer our requests to be refused gently. This is why the reason-before-refusal pattern works well when turning down a request for favours, money, information, and action. Start with a buffer, provide the reason, state the refusal in a sensitive manner suggesting the possible alternatives, end with a positive comment and possible future opportunities.